CCIV: Running Fast, Maintaining Habits

If only I had access to a camera crew to document the many ways I manage to look stupid in public. Then I would have an awesome picture to share with you...that is, awesomely tragic.

Here are the facts:

1. I would rather run around Downtown looking like a crazy person to be on time for something (i.e. a yoga class) than walk at a normal pace and be late.
2. I would rather attempt to rid my new dress of oil stains and look like I just wet myself (at work, among all places!) than be stuck with said oil stains. Twice.
3. As per #2 above, when wearing new clothes, I seem to be a magnet to food stains. I believe this is genetic, thanks to my father.
4. If you are male and in your twenties or thirties, whether attractive or not, I will look everywhere but at you when seated across from you on a bus. It's just the way I roll.