CC: Sentence Structure

I've written out two versions of today's post and they were both pretty lacklustre and uninspired. I can't for the life of me figure out, as it's already past my recommended bedtime, what the subject should be. What the verb should be. What the object is.

Alas -- these questions are all too well-known to me, especially as of the past six years. Pan out and reapply, and you will find most of the first paragraph rephrased like so: I can't for the life of me figure out, as it's already past my seemingly educational prime, what the focus should be. What the action should be. What the goal is.

The streams of interest ebb and flow according to the tide of emotional experiences I encounter. These waves are sometimes choppy and unforeseeable, sometimes predictably handled, sometimes unavoidable. And yet I never know which way to turn. It seems like I don't have enough time to make a decision, and in a few nanoseconds my hesitation will force me underwater.

I can't swim.

Most of the time I can distract myself from these big life questions with daily trivialities. At times like these, however, when you are suffering from blogck and open yourself to anything; abandon those mental filters, only to find something that you rather would have left hidden; you are faced with a riddle that you cannot answer, and an impatient Sphinx who hungrily waits for your next move.

And why make it sound so serious? People change their minds all the time. My decision today can be shrugged off tomorrow. Perhaps that is the problem. By forcing some gravity upon myself (self-inflicted drowning, if you must), it will create more certainty. A sense of duty. Less doubt. I cannot proceed east without exhausting the reasons to not go west. I just know that I don't want to play it safe by waiting around.