CLXXIX: The Great Debate

Far be it from me to start discussing philosophy or try to make any arguments on mankind so late in the evening after so long of a day, but the following thought crossed my mind as I washed the dishes tonight after seeing an old elementary school friend whom I haven't spoken to in five years:

We are both a product of our parents and our friends.

Nature vs. nurture. This question has been the subject of many a treatise and the answers (or more questions) only increase exponentially as the years go by. Is it our genes or is it our environment? Of course it's both, but even so, what percentage belongs to whom? Is there some other variable or causation involved?

This something else, I believe, is that fundamental core of our personality, the crux and origin of the argument, for surely the first question was "What makes us the way we are?"

What makes you you and what makes me me?

As I faced my childhood friend and heard her talk about her life, I thought about how it seems like we both hadn't changed at all; and yet, how were we best friends then and now seemed to be from two different worlds? Weren't we once the same? Or was that just a premature belief?

Humour me and think of yourself as a house. Your parents lay the foundation of who you are and you build who you will be. Your friends help out with the interior design and furniture. A bad foundation screws you up in the long run--you may not notice small cracks that enlarge with time and these repairs are the most costly. It's a bit easier for you and others to see a good or shoddy construction job, and you may choose to start or ignore that much needed renovation (especially come quarter- or mid-life crisis time). Paint and furniture can stay the same or change as you please, but these are the things you see and find comfort in day-by-day. They can also affect our moods subliminally.

You hear it often: "we grew apart". Among family, among friends, among lovers. It can be taken negatively or positively, however you wish. The key word, though often overlooked, is "grew". We are now better and stronger than we used to be. That is the general hope, at least.

I was happy to be reunited with someone who played such a large role in my past and even happier that we were able to reminisce together and laugh at some of our memories. She is a painting that will never leave my walls, no matter how my tastes change.