CCCXL: A Replacement, A Defacement

I spent my whole workday in boardrooms--first for a weekly meeting, and then for the rest of the afternoon sitting in interviews for my replacement while I'm away. It was tough. I was more nervous than some of the candidates appeared to be, mainly because I knew that at any moment, I might be asked a question about my job or have to ask a question myself. It's not that I don't know about my own job and cannot ask legitimate questions; it's that I am terrible at articulating my thoughts when put on the spot. I always need more time to assess the situation, mull over some ideas, collect my thoughts, etc. etc. That's one of the reasons why I would so much rather type/write than deal with people on the phone or in person. Does that make me weird? Are there other people like me? People who aren't in IT?

I've been doing a lot of reflecting in my solitude, much of it regarding my expectations for the forthcoming trip. In my mind, throwing myself into a new (and literally foreign) environment with strangers is absolutely terrifying. I barely want to go to parties when only one person I know is attending, let alone go to a new city on my own with no circle of friends in which to confide. But, seeing this deficiency in myself, I have made it my aim to change--as trying as this lesson will be.

Then I wonder, what if I can't change this part of myself at all? What if I am just setting myself up for a very depressing few months? How malleable is introversion? And aren't we all meant to have different personality traits anyway, in which case I am just idolizing the extraverted?

Realistically, I see myself becoming friends with my classmates. Outside of that, everything is up in the air. I don't know how far I can be pushed, and I don't know if the pool I dive into will be overflowing with words that will, upon my submersion, become more readily available to my lips.