Sometimes I seriously wonder about psychological chicken-and-egg situations. The topic in question tonight is emotion.
Tell me, is emotion best explained by physiological or neurobiological/ endocrinological means? Or is it better linked to more abstract and unquantifiable entities such as thoughts or the soul? Do I feel sad because my facial muscles were contorted in a frown or because I had lower levels of dopamine in my brain; and if so, what triggered these lower levels: other hormones or something psychological?
Do I feel sad because I recalled certain memories or thought negative thoughts? Or were these unhappy thoughts elicited by some sort of hormonal imbalance? And does weather truly have an effect on all of the above? What about sleep?
A psychologist would most likely say that it was all of the above. For me, though, the curiosity lies in the unidentifiable origin. Yes, I am a firm believer in a science that is all-inclusive without being overly complex. Holistic, I think it's called. And this expands onto my views on religion. The more viewpoints the better, because ultimately you will find common threads holding together this tapestry of Existence, this cloth of Life.
What may have started off on a hormonal level due to lack of sleep, sun, or other led to negative affect, which limited the number of automatic facial expressions while opening a mental repository of memories that are only accessible in certain states of mind; these coloured my interactions with others and attributions of their actions, and the emotional proliferation continues, creating the conditions for a perfect dysphoric microstorm.
I am really trying to say that I wish I had more control over these things or at least some sort of justification for my feelings. But I've performed a mental scan and have come up with nothing other than what I've shared with you tonight. Like many women before me, I will blame PMS.
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