LIX: Nerveuse

Sunday is the big day and I've had a long roller coaster ride of nerves since late last year. The past few days have been relatively calm and relaxed (maybe because things started finally coming together last week)...but tonight, when I tried practicing on my own, I just was not feeling it. And any ounce of insecurity greatly affects the voice, making it more difficult to achieve a rounded sound that doesn't feel pushed or thin.

That is why my audition was so bad. I'm not beating myself up about it, it's a fact -- my uncontrollable nerves got the best of me. My goal this week is to learn to calm myself down, to get into the mindset where I am singing for myself, enjoying each moment, and to not doubt any second of it. And a bonus would be to learn how to have STAGE PRESENCE. Huzzah, if that happens I will probably act like Marianne St-Gelais when her boyfriend Charles Hamelin won the gold. In my mind, of course. I don't think I have ever shown that much overt enthusiasm for anything. What can I say, I'm a Vancouverite!

On American Idol a couple of weeks ago, Simon told one of the contestants that people should only feel nervous when they're useless. However, I've also heard from somewhere that if a singer stops getting nervous before a performance, it's a sign that they shouldn't be doing that anymore.

What does this teach us, children? That everyone has different advice and it all, though conflicting, seems to make sense. (Also easier said than done.) Let's hear from some other people...

• Homer Simpson: "You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try."
• Yoda: "Do or do not, there is no try."

And one of my personal favourites...

• Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”