XXIII: The Joy Luck Club

I saw the movie when I was a kid, I read the book in grade ten, and I am only now realizing how all Chinese mothers are the same as the ones in The Joy Luck Club.

They flaunt you to their friends or family, bragging about your grades, job, or salary, talking you up to them so that you seem more impressive than you really are, but when it's just a mother vs. daughter chat, you are not good enough. You can always be doing more. You should not be thinking of doing that. I worked since I was a teenager and had to provide for my family. I have given you everything, et cetera, et cetera.

This is the Chinese way of showing that you care: you always push your child to be something better. Never bask in the glory of now. I have it pretty good as is--my mom is not considered the extreme. She has told me how proud she is of me and she hugs me.

But if something's wrong, the silent treatment accompanied with pursed lips is the standard up until a car ride to church or a moment in between tasks, and then she knows exactly what to say to rile you up and spoil your day.

I won't get into specifics about what unmentionable subject I brought up today. I just felt the need to write my reactionary, never-to-be-read-by-mom observation, so there it was. I am by no means an ungrateful daughter, I do not love her any less, but I am just frustrated with the way things have to be perceived and discussed with my mother. I am the one who has to put the effort into opening her up, and when it works, my reward is...?

I will go to bed and put this behind me. She will of course bring it up again sometime this week. But letting it take up more time than writing this is simply unnecessary. Thank God for Chiara!