You've probably noticed I have been rather uninspired lately and you would be completely correct. I've been finding it difficult to think up topics and so my blogck has been visibly rampant and my blog has been lacklustre.
Tonight I am in the oh-so-fair situation of being confronted with another case of Chinese-mother-passive-aggression. If you are the progeny of said genus of parent, then you know to what I am referring and can relate. Instead of talking out an issue that arises in the household, these types of guardians prefer to storm off and give you the silent treatment for x amount of time, until one day on a car ride to something neutral or pleasant, the avoiding parent will suddenly recall the episode that occurred days/weeks ago and give you a full blast of verbally shameful ammo, making you feel like you are quite possibly the worst son/daughter to have ever been born.
I am on the cusp of this familiar familial conflict arc, perhaps a minor one in comparison to others, and what pains me is that it is due to my mother's own indecision. She is turning sixty next week. It's a huge deal in Chinese culture as it marks the entry into a respectful mature age. I have been asking her who she wants to invite for the past few weeks and she has been yo-yoing between having a big celebration and having her closest friends. She changes her mind within minutes and each evening seems to bring a different verdict.
Had I been a better daughter, I wouldn't have asked her who she wanted to invite at all. I should have just planned something big as a surprise and this organizing should have started months (if not a year) ago. She spent almost a year planning my dad's surprise 70th birthday a few years back and there were over fifty attendees. A hall was rented. Surprise guests were flown in. It was big. And of the three of us in our family, she deserves the biggest party of all since she is the head of the household and mastermind of finances; the person who has worked hard her whole life, withstood enormous loss, and sacrificed so much to give her family (both immediate and extended) a better life. Her notions of respect and tradition are entrenched into my behaviour. Her reserved nature is mine. Her unquenchable wanderlust has become my own. And she knows me better than I would like to admit.
So I am also on the threshold of filial failure and am resolved to undo my wrongs. I predict many phone calls to people I haven't seen in over five years and some sort of slideshow. Boy do I have a lot of work ahead of me--probably a terabyte of photos to choose from--and how do I sneak around with this project when she's always home?
She asked my dad for help using the PVR instead of me. I told you this would happen.
And I am hoping she doesn't read this or else I have totally blown my cover. You won't tell her, right?
i can totally help a ragazza out! when do you need the slideshow done by? are you relatives computer savvy? could the ones that aren't able to attend make a video wishing your mom a happy birthday? you can compile all of them into one video. i'll talk to you more about this offline--let me know what you think!
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