It's been hard to keep away from writing over the past month. There were so many things I wanted to share with you. Like the time I went swimming, tired my arms out, and then couldn't properly try on a bikini when I shopped later that night. Or the time Bunny and the travelling sisters organized a surprise party for me. Or how I've been feeling.
Well, I can tell you about the last thing now. It's like I'm numb to emotion and sensation; like my mind has been on the defence for awhile; like my heart has a shield around it. I can't say that I've completely accepted my upcoming departure yet. I've said my goodbyes to my friends, and I know I will miss them dearly. I've spent my fair share of at-home-family-time, and yet the gravity of the situation has been lost upon me. I am fully aware that I am leaving home in two days, but I don't feel like I am. Maybe this will come once I've finished packing (though I technically haven't even started!). Maybe it will hit me when my parents send me off at the airport. Maybe I will break down in the airplane washroom (not preferable since it's so cramped and likely smelly). Maybe it will approach me as I spend a few nights in Milan at my relatives' home. Or maybe it will drench me on one of my first nights alone in Florence (I'm picturing a Tobias-breaking-down-in-the-shower moment since I will be sharing a room in an apartment with a stranger).
Whenever that will be, I am comforted in knowing that I have people who love me back home. That is something that has become apparent to me over the past few weeks, and I still don't think I will ever be able to verbalize my gratitude for everyone's well-wishes, hopes, support, and love. I thank you each (using your own personalized nickname) for your friendship. Talk to you soon.
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