Figlia unica

During conversation class today, our teacher steered the discussion from dental hygiene to childbearing to family...and all of it was interesting in Italian!

The part that stuck with me was when he asked each of us how many brothers and sisters we have. When he got to me and I replied that I was a figlia unica (only child/daughter), he and my classmates said they found it surprising. And this, in turn, surprised me.

When I asked my teacher whether his reaction was a compliment or not, he said that from what he's observed, I did not appear to have the attributes of an only child, which for him were primarily being spoiled and introverted. I contested and said I was indeed an introvert; and, furthermore, having an Asian/Chinese mother of that generation guaranteed that I would be raised under a disciplinarian/strict hand--so not spoiled. (Of course all of this sounded less articulate and more simple in my Italian, but you get the point. And 媽, I'm grateful for how you raised me--我愛您!)

My Japanese classmate nodded in agreement. He knew what I was talking about. And he said I acted more like an older sibling.

This is all an interesting way of analyzing perception. First, I was not aware of comporting myself in any blatant manner, especially in a classroom setting. I've had this teacher for nine weeks now, and most of my classmates are relatively new to me (as of three weeks when two of our classes combined). We have three hours of class a day, and most of our interactions are in the forms of correcting homework, reading out loud, or answering our teacher's questions. So I am in a bit of a psychological pickle--how much do people (sub)consciously read the actions and words of those they see on a regular basis? Because I know that, had the subject been reversed, I wouldn't have been able to so easily make an observation of one of my other classmates. I just don't work that way.

And then there is the matter of my distorted self-perception. Here I have been for almost 25 years, wholeheartedly knowing and believing myself to be an introvert. Yes, compare me with the life of the party and I would be labelled as such (an introvert, that is)--but on my own, when you leave me to mix with the other children, even if they're quasi-strangers, I'm not as taciturn as I believed. It's a bit liberating to be rid of the awareness of a shadow, but I'm not out of the dark just yet.

Today's expression of the day is avere uno scheletro nell'armadio, which literally corresponds to the English idiom "to have a skeleton in the closet".