Restless

I am in a kinetic state of mind. It's been a bit over a year since I started school in Florence and it still feels like only yesterday. I remember my morning routine, the bustling walk to school, my signature pasta salad lunch, the afternoon gelati at La Carraia, and the strolls among the illuminated piazze and overflowing bars at night. My time in Florence was like a pause button in my otherwise normal life. A pause and teleportation of sorts. While everything continued on in Vancouver and I enjoyed the carefree life sans responsibility, my life was waiting for me back home like a favourite pair of jeans folded in my dresser. They were snug upon my return but I have now moulded to them again.

Life in Vancouver is sweet. But as it has always been, life in Vancouver is safe--and I am craving some sort of excitement or change in scenery.

I am busier than I have ever been this year with work, school, friends, concerts, and meeting new people. At times it satisfies my need for distraction and at others I just want to revert back to my old, homebody ways. It's a part of me that I will never shake off willingly (I still take delight in being in my pyjamas, curled under a blanket in front of the TV with a few cookies and some milk or tea. Ideally in this dream bubble Chiara would still be here to sit with me), but it's a part that also has to lay dormant for awhile. Because I just can't enjoy being at home the way I used to anymore. I feel like I should be doing something else with my time. It's the strangest thing that one of the greatest sources of comfort can suddenly be so ambivalent.

Tonight, my parents invited our neighbours, an elderly couple who has lived in their house for 35 years. We have been here for 15 and when I was introduced to them tonight, the first thing the lady asked was if I lived here. It's funny how invisible someone can be without even trying.