Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Detachment

For what feels like months (when perhaps it may only have been weeks), I have been feeling a mixture of numbness, detachment, and apathy. It has been a bitter cocktail to swallow.

I still feel moments of joy; I still know how to smile and am capable of making jokes; but when left to my own devices, my thoughts drift to one--Giagi--and I yearn for three things: forgiveness, comfort, and rest. It is hard to get out of bed in the morning; it is even harder to not let my mind keep going to a place it has called home for seven months (it really is just a hostel...or some sort of purgatory).

I am now happiest when:
  • I have no obligations
  • I have had 11 hours of sleep
  • I have free time to myself in Villetta
  • I've eaten fresh pasta salad (with flavourful tomatoes!)
  • I'm about to fall asleep in savasana during yoga class
  • With a nice cup of tea and/or pie-like dessert
  • In Boy's warm embrace
What I am lacking now is motivation and effort to pull myself out of my current situation and into one that I can be proud of. How long until I metamorphose once more?

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